19 February 2007


Last night I was feeling rather distraught. You see, I had just completed Richard Ellman's excellent biography of Oscar Wilde which, apart from re-emphasising the injustice and meanness that exist in this world, had reduced me to a teary mess. I consumed no less than 16 Kleenex tissues, blowing my nose furiously as if I were in Paris, in 1900, attending Wilde's funeral. The thought of this wonderful writer, once known to be so generous to his own friends, being abandoned, ruined by his trial, broken by his cruel 2 year sentence, subjected to the ostracism that followed his imprisonment and then spending his last days as a desperately lonely and penniless vagrant, sucked me into despair.

In the end I realised that putting aside his talent and tumultuous affairs, Oscar Wilde's life recalls the story of every man whose living art, or individuality is punished by society. It is the story of every person abused by their so called friends and cast aside when they are no longer of any use. I read De Profundis and once again broke down.


In New Zealand, there is a lovely chocolate bar called Perkynana. It's a banana flavoured chewy bar coated in milk chocolate although to me, it tastes more like pineapple than banana. Here is a picture of it, in all it's glory:

Makes me sigh just to gawk at this picture.

I have only visited New Zealand twice but each time, I remember stocking up on Cadbury Perkynanas. Only about 80cents per bar.
A small price to pay for a delicious sweet. One of my favourites by far.

I've often wondered why Australia doesn't import Perkynanas. It's not as if New Zealand is very far. Not as if Cadbury products are an exotic specialty that would require years of marketing to attract loyal consumers within Australia. But after years of waiting, I fear that neither the shelves of our Coles or Woolies supermarkets will ever be graced by arrays of Perkynanas in their delicate yellow wrappers. Why isn't anyone interested in importing Perkynanas????

It looked as if someone had finally heard my prayers. The other day, in town, I walked past a confectionery store which proudly imports a myriad of hard to find international sweets, catering for all those nostalgic expats. In this store which I will not name, lest I find myself making scurrilous remarks, you can even find Hershey bars and Peanut Butter bars from the US and all manner of Sherbety sweets from England. And behold, what do you think I saw? Newly imported Perkynanas!! Oh goodie! This was too good to be true. I was already rolling up my sleeves ready to stock up for the next 3 years. "But now, do get a grip Laura", I said, taking hold of myself, "and take some time to consider this extravagant folly that will surely be the cause of your ruin." For how much do you think those bastards charged for one miserable Perkynana?? $3.50!!!! That's right, I'm not kidding. $3.50 for one STINKING Perkynana!!! It was nothing short of outrageous, ripping off the honest public in such a shameless manner. Bandits! Well they could shove their Perkynanas you know where, I thought as I stormed out of the store with an offended sniff.

I will have to seriously consider importing them myself. Perhaps I could purchase a flight ticket to New Zealand some time, build my Cadbury connections, install a commercial fridge in my backyard...

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